The method of making dissimilar materials adhere to one another is as old as history. At first natural materials were used, such as natural gums, plant resins, and saps. Then in the early 20th century, synthetic adhesives made from polymers emerged. Because of these modern adhesives, it now became possible to bring together different materials with extremely different properties. Just think of a Teflon pan or the heat shields on a space shuttle.
This word picture of Teflon sticking to metal while being exposed to heat, the two materials expanding and contracting at different speeds, is not too far from the tension realized in partnerships. If you have ever been in a multi-lateral partnership or network where there are several different entities working together, you have experienced the tension of trying to “stick together.”
God instituted the natural laws of chemistry and physics that keep the Teflon from separating from the metal. He has also instituted social laws—ways of behavior—to allow us to work together in the Body of Christ.
First behavioral law of partnership: Love
The first behavioral law, which is the bedrock of all others, is Love. In 1 Corinthians 13, Christ exemplifies the faultless picture of love. All of our tasks, even the task of operating within a partnership, bring no gain without love. If you want a partnership to succeed, all must come with an open mind and heart and the capacity to forgive. Hard hearts will fail the first pressure test.
Second behavioral law of partnership: Trust
Surrounding the atmosphere of love, a foundation of trust must be built. Relationships are built upon trust and this trust foundation has two very distinct and important elements: trust of the people involved and trust in the process.
Trusting each other is not built by simply spending some time together, drinking tea, or getting to know “personal things” about each other. Although these are important ingredients, it takes a lot more than this. Trust is demonstrated to each other through reliability: doing what you say you are going to do; competency: being able to do what you say you can do; integrity: stripping away organizational and personal egos and clearly communicating your agenda; and results: delivering in a timely manner what you agreed to do.
If we look at the life of Christ and his interactions with the individuals and the society around him, we see that these four characteristics are prevalent. When Jairus, the synagogue ruler, and the woman with the bleeding disorder came to Jesus, they came because they knew he could deliver results (Mark 5:22-43). Jesus’ fame and reputation had gone before him. They knew he was reliable, competent, and forthright; he could be trusted to fulfill their needs and prayers. And his band of twelve men—what kept them together over this three-year period and beyond? Although the record is not there for us to analyze and dissect, could we not assume that they too built bonds of trust based upon these four characteristics in their relationships?
Building personal relationships is the glue that holds the different entities, the different strata together. But believing in the process, the layered way of putting together a partnership or network, is just as important. Trust the process.
This kind of trust is created when you honor the system of how a collaborative effort is built. Shared decision-making, consensus, and an inclusive, non-controlling atmosphere are essential. A skilled facilitator or facilitation team who knows how to build consensus, run a meeting, help set an agenda and assist with other related tasks is critical when you build a partnership. If you just call a meeting without due diligence and the proper sequencing of events, you will KILL the partnership before it starts.
Scheduling leadership meetings so that the maximum possible participation can be present builds trust in the system and the collaborative process. Conversely, holding meetings at short notice when only a few can attend excludes the very key players that should be encouraged to be a part of the process. Another way to trust the process is for everyone to follow together what the group agreed to do.
If you want your partnership to pass the test of disappointment, hurt feelings, and communication problems so it can grow and last, then concentrate on how to build trust in your relationships. Just as the Lord uses this personal trust to hold us together, you should learn and follow these steps: the method of how to bring together disparate elements of the Church, how to develop joint ownership, and how to build consensus so you can keep your partnership moving in a positive direction.
NOTE: An exceptionally good book on this topic is The Speed of Trust, by Stephen M.R. Covey. This book will give you very practical steps as well as a variety of assessment tools about how well you do in achieving, building and extending trust.
Bill Sunderland is Senior Advisor at visionSynergy. Bill has a diverse background including industrial sales, sales management, sales consulting, and the development of sports ministry partnerships in the USA and Asia. He and his wife lived in Korea for three years and coordinated the evangelistic outreach surrounding the 1988 Olympics. This experience led to his involvement in developing joint ventures and strategic alliances in China, Taiwan, and Papua New Guinea. For nearly 10 years, Bill has served with visionSynergy – working to empower the global Church’s commitment to Kingdom collaboration.